March 18, 2020
I remember the day so clearly. I hadn’t been feeling well. Utter shock filled my body as I watched the (very bold) line appear a split second after the test began. I was pregnant. At that time Evelyn was 9 months old and we had no plans of adding another baby to our family so soon. Our shock quickly turned into excitement, but we were still so surprised!
During my pregnancy I wondered how I could ever love another baby as much as I loved Evelyn. Everyone told me “your heart just grows that much more.” At the time, I didn’t know how that could be possible. Around the 4 month pregnancy mark, I found out. At my check-up the doctor was routinely rubbing the heartbeat doppler across my stomach. I watched as concern spread across her face. Fear instantly hit me.
What if there’s no heartbeat? What had been a unplanned surprise had quickly turned into something I could not imagine being without. After a few seconds that felt like forever, the soft wump-wump-wump filled the room. That’s one of the most amazing sounds I’ve ever heard. I’ve always believed lives of unborn babies are precious, but that moment absolutely sealed it for me.
Flash forward to now. The sweetest little 2 year old boy curls in my lap and looks up at me with bright blue eyes — just like mine. Our Rowan came into our lives so quickly and now I can’t imagine life without him. He has an amazing love for cooking and gets upset if we’re having leftovers and not cooking supper! He’ll flash a mischevious grin your direction whenever he knows he’s teasing you, but he has an amazing ability to sympathize and love those around him.
Rowan James, my sweet little buddy, life would not be the same without you. Your passion inspires us all. I pray that you never lose that. You’re quick to learn and love so gently. I pray you’ll become a strong man with a tender heart and a fearsome love for God. How grateful I am to God that he knew we needed you with us now, even when we didn’t. I love being your mama and I can’t wait to see what year two brings! Happy 2nd Birthday!!